I love that moment when a relationship with a friend takes that next step up in the relationship so naturally. I’m not very good at creating close friendships or relationships of any kind for that matter. I tend to keep myself emotionally at a distant from others for various reasons, but I’m still always trying to reach out to those around me that I feel will mesh well with my personality. I feel like I rarely get any interest back, but that’s probably mainly in my head. True, not everyone is meant to get along but if I’m trying to be friends with you and create a lasting relationship with you of some kind then we have already gotten along well up till that point.
Recently a co-worker was the one who took the next step with us to become better friends. Not me. It truly surprised me and made me feel so good. I was such a nice feeling to have someone initiate wanting to get to know me better. Like it somehow validated my thoughts and feelings that we got along well. We were discussing his interest in a woman he had just met, and he had been asking my advice on things. When I was about to leave he made the comment that he really wanted to hang out with me again soon and asked me what my work schedule was the rest of the week. It was such an unexpected comment and question that I believe I stood there silent for a few moments. I’m not used to people showing enough interest in me to warrant a ‘natural’ response to him of “I’m working such-and-such days” rather than me just standing there trying not to trip over my words as I look everywhere but directly at him as I try to remember my schedule that week.
I feel like friendships that naturally take that next step to geting to know each other better are the ones that have a stronger chance of lasting for years to come. Trying to ‘force’ someone into having a closer, more intimate, relationship with you is never a good idea, but when it comes to someone like myself relationships in general can be very difficult to navigate. In grade school it was so much easier to make friends. You were thrown together everyday for hours on end. You basically looked around for a friendly face and started talking to them. Boom. Friend made. As an adult it seems to get increasingly harder to make close friends the older you get. Perhaps it’s just me that feels this way, but I somehow doubt it.
I’ve been with my current job for just over a decade now. The company I work for employees over 30,000 people on average with that number going up and down through out the year for various reasons. You would think that being surrounded with so many people daily would make it easier to find and make a friend, buuuuuuut you would be wrong. Our environment works in such a way that you may not be working with the same people every week or even every day. It’s common to hear “Where you at this week?” and “It’s my Thursday…. Really? It’s only my Monday.” all around you at work. With people being scheduled different venues and different days off it makes it that much harder to get to know those around you. So when I find someone at work, whether they are male or female, that I seem to have a good connection with I will usually come out of my comfort zone and give them my number even if I’ve worked with them a handful of times. I do this because I really don’t know when we will be working the same venue again. It can come off as me hitting on the guy if I do it soon after we’ve started talking, but I am a spontaneous person at my root. I see the opportunity I take it. Tomorrow is never guarantee as it is so give them your damn number.
I may never master making friends, but I’m never going to stop trying to get to know those around me. So when those moments happen that take someone from being acquaintance to bonified friend are the greatest. It really does validate my emotions and makes me feel special because its proof I am liked and that others enjoy my company. There’s just something innately human about having someone you can call at three am with the confidence that they will answer the phone. Even if it’s with a “This better be good for waking me up.”
Thoughts From An Exhausted Woman 