As I sit here writing this entry there is a Hallmark movie playing on my tv beside me. I’m not really watching it. It’s more of a background noise right now, but I don’t really need to look over at the screen to really know what is happening at any given moment. I don’t even think I’ve seen this one before either, but as the saying goes, if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. It’s due to the fact that Hallmark movies tend to all be cookie cutter scripts. Which you would think would turn us fans off, but it’s the reason we like them.
The leading lady will almost always be a business owner or a successful business woman in her field in one form or another. She is in her late twenties to early thirties. She rarely has kids and if she does she is rarely divorced and is widowed instead, and she always owns her own home or condo. The woman is never just a mother struggling to make ends meet – unless its a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie that is going for the heartstrings – and she rarely looks like she left the house without looking fabulous. Also, she never seems to have any real flaws beyond maybe some trust issues from having her last boyfriend or fiancé lie to her or suddenly dumping her. (which is why she is now single).
The leading men aren’t safe from the clichés either. They usually run some sort of business, rarely have children, are generally in their thirties or forties, and usually drive an old truck or a new model luxury sedan/SUV. Depending on the storyline, they are either the small town guy the leading lady (from the big city) falls for or the leading man that is from the city who wins the heart of the small town girl. Everyone, and I mean everyone – even the background extras – are dressed nice. Oh and if the movie is taking place in winter with snow the vehicles are always clean. No road slush on those babies!
Cliches and cookie cutter scripts is their trademark , and it’s what we fans come to expect when we tune in to watch them. That being said I totally have a love/hate with the movies. Why? Because they have ruined my expectations for love. Even more so than any Disney movie has ever done. You would think that after being connected to the entertainment industry for over a decade I would know better that what we see on screen is ALWAYS planned out, down to the last flower pot in the background. I didn’t even know they were ruining my expectations until I moved out here to Wisconsin. I had never lived in snow, or any kind of ‘small town’, and I actually expected to find what I saw in all those movies. A cute little town with well dressed people, some kind of big fair at least once a year, and a cute as heck guy just waiting to meet and fall head over heels in love with me.
Yeahhhhhhh so that didn’t happen. The people here don’t dress in nicely coordinated outfits, the fairs don’t appear to have a very big budget behind them most times, and the men here tend to lean toward the side of Seth Rogan rather than Chris Evans in the looks department. That may be your type but sadly it is not mine. Which can make dating here not a very successful thing for me when it comes to finding someone I am mentally AND physically attracted to to pursue.
I was honestly annoyed as hell when I realized all their movies had lied to me about small towns. Though now that I think about it it seems like most of the small towns their characters end up in are on one coast or the other and rarely in the middle of America, but still. Lies. I fell for the stories hook line and sinker so well that I moved across America thinking “how bad can Wisconsin really be?” In reality, it was a combination of the movies storytelling style and the blandness of Wisconsin that caused me to be aggravated. I didn’t watch their movies for about a year or so while I pouted about having been so well deceived by them, but I couldn’t stay away. So, here I sit with one of their movies playing in the background as I work on the computer. It’s soothing. Like having an old friend in the room talking to me, and just like old friends we had a rough spot in our friendship but survived it. So here’s to many more years of my love/hate with Hallmark moves. May it go on for at least the next few decades (I just wish they would quit trying to tell us hot guys live in small towns).
Thoughts From An Exhausted Woman 