EDIT: This was a post I came across recently that I realized I never published. Though it was written several years ago I feel like it still rings true even today. I hope you enjoy the read.
I have suffered from depression pretty much all my adult life. It’s gone from bad to worse to meh and back so many times that I’ve lost track. Anything and everything can effect my state of mind sending me back down the depression hole once again. I never know how long I’ll be down there or how dark it will be, but there is one thing that can be a good indicator of how sad I am; My appearance. That’s true for many people dealing with severe depression, I’m sure. When depression gets really heavy it’s hard to get out of bed, get dressed and be a part of the world. So making the effort to shower, style my hair and even do make-up can feel like the hardest task in the world.
What’s odd is that some days when I am feeling my worst THAT is when I make the effort to do my make-up and usually my hair, too. Having a “pretty’ face helps me to feel a bit better and goes a long way to helping my depression. Some people buy things to make themselves feel better. Perhaps some cook or exercise or do some sort of craft or hobby. I put on a full face of makeup. Blush and all (I very rarely wear blush. Don’t know why. I just don’t.) When I’m in a more positive state of mind my outfit will match well and I’ll even coordinate my purse to my outfit. When I’m in a more negative headspace I will wear the same pieces of clothing over and over again. I’ll just wash them over and over again.
Currently, I’m somewhere between coordinated purse outfits and wash repeatedly outfits with full make-up minus lipstick and blush (mainly because wearing a face mask 8 hours a day kind of makes it feel like I would be wasting that makeup since it’s rarely seen anyways). I’m trying to keep my thoughts afloat and on the positive side. Having a great work partner at work really helps things, too. He and I have been teamed up together since the beginning of December. We’ve more or less found the groove that works for both of us, and his personality meshes really well with mine and that REALLY helps . A lot.
It’s hard some days to smile and fake it, but knowing that with a face mask on some of that pressure to “be happy” is off a bit and really helps. I can relax and just feel my sadness instead of trying to constantly hide it and act happy. Which, I think, helps make it leave quicker. I’m not afraid to “look sad” under my mask allowing myself to fully feel my sadness, and by doing so I’m able to move on to better, brighter days even sooner. Who knew feeling your feelings while actually having them would be a good thing. Especially when it’s sadness that you are feeling? (Yes those were rhetoric questions). Science shows that if you make yourself smile when you are feeling sad something happens within your brain to trick it into feeling a little better. So the more you smile supposedly the quicker you start to feel better. Those days where I just don’t feel like faking the cheer, I still try to at least smile here and there when I remember to do so.
“Smile! It increase your face value!” That is a line from the movie Steel Magnolias starring Sally Field and Julia Roberts. So many great lines I quote from that movie in daily life. I will continue to say that line to myself until I know longer have to remember to remind myself to smile. It may take awhile though. 😉
Thoughts From An Exhausted Woman 